Writer's Block
by Remus J. Lupin-Black
Summary: Remus is struggling with writer’s block and Sirius offers to help. RemusSirius.


**Title**: Writer's Block

**Author**: Remus J. Lupin-Black

**Rating**: R

**Era**: Hogwarts

**Genre**: Humor/Romance

**Pairing(s)**: Remus/Sirius

**Summary**: Remus is struggling with writer's block and Sirius offers to help.

**Disclaimer**: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

**Author's Note**: Told from first person. Hopefully, you guys will still give this a try. A thank you to my darling HK for betaing this for me. Feel free to yell at me for using incorrect slang and/or other crap. It's 2:31 AM. I'm allowed to write this shit at that ungodly hour if I want. Also, since it confused HK, Jim is James. I have an Great-Uncle James and the family calls him Jim.  
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I have all ways prided myself on my mind. Here at Hogwarts I spend most of my time buried in books in the hopes that I might avoid the possibility of anyone finding out my secret – well anyone else that is. I comforted myself with the thought that I am smarter than the rest of the students in my house. True, James and Sirius have all ways managed to out do me at everything they do; but I know at the end of the day, I am the one that isn't spending the evening in detention with McGonagall or Filch – usually. I tell myself that it is my brain, over all other things, including my own furry little problem, as Jim would put it, which counts.

So, it's disconcerting to discover that the only semi-coherent thought running through my head right now is "I need some Hot Sweaty Animal Sex with Sirius Black".

Damn.

My quill just skidded across the parchment. Again.

I am completely distracted from my Transfiguration Essay-Currently-Not-In-Progress because my brain just. Can't. Function. Not when Sirius is within reach.

Well…certainly not when he's bending over and putting his assets on display. My poor, innocent boyfriend is utterly ignorant to the shameless lines of my lecherous thoughts as he shuffles forward on all fours, trying to sort through a somewhat impressive collect of photographs that are spread out carefully across the common room floor. They are mostly from this last weekend visit to Hogsmeade, but a few are just of the grounds and Sirius and I enjoying each other's company. This happy incident allows my eyes to glue themselves to the tempting lush curve of that gorgeous arse, perkily thrust up into the air, filling out the seams of his low-slung Jordache jeans quite well.

Fuck.

I've broken the quill.

I am not going to write anything coherent at this rate. Putting one's thoughts down about human Transfigurations is not as easy as I had thought it would be. Of course, I'm sure if I wrote the things going through my head, Professor McGonagall would have me in detention before I would even begin to explain.

In any case, I don't think anyone but Sirius is going to be interested in the raunchy details of my erotic Cave-Man fantasies about grabbing Sirius, throwing him over my shoulder Neanderthal-style, and running to the dorm so that I might get some Hot Sweaty Animal Sex.

Ugh.

Did I actually just think that? I have officially turned into Jim…only gay. Mental shudder. I will be dying a slow and painful death now.

Of course Slow Sweet Loving might be nice…I **wolfishly** (I really have gone off the deep end now if I can make light of that) ogle Sirius' arse for the fiftieth time tonight and decide that some Wild Dirty Sex is better suited for tonight's activities.

Bloody hell.

My hand seems to have a mind of it's own, as I've just written "Wild Dirty Sex" across the top of my Transfiguration essay. I'm going to have a hard time explaining why I have the words "Butt" and "Cute" scribbled onto my essay. I heave a loud sigh and charm away the excess ink just as Sirius raises his head from the engrossing photographs on his lap to look up at me curiously. Those large, guileless gray eyes are doing absolutely nothing to calm my overly enthusiastic libido. In fact, I think I may be developing a serious kink for the wide-eyed innocence that Sirius pulls off so well. Sirius has no idea that his boyfriend's mental capacity just plummeted significantly at the sight of his firm, tight behind…bugger.

I am mentally molesting my not-so-innocent boyfriend. Idly peeling away his clothes…

Me Remus. Remus Like Sirius. Remus Want Sirius. Remus No Want Write. Remus Want To Do Nasty Things To Sirius.

So much for my vaunted intelligent.

I never expected Sirius' pert butt to be enough to render me speechless. Remus Lupin's brain has officially declared itself on holiday and allowed the hormones to take over. Now it seems the handful of functioning synapses that remain are focusing on one Extremely Important Task: blatantly leering over the boyfriend's luscious body, lingering especially on a certain favorite pair of his anatomy which makes the roof of my mouth go dry.

"What the matter, Remus? Having trouble writing that essay?"

Sirius plays the earnest card very, very well. Remind self later to practice resisting that.

"Anything I can do to help?"

Such a generous offer, love.

"Perhaps."

Just get on your back and let your desperately horny boyfriend do all the hard work…or I could get on my back and let you do all the work. Either way works for me...

It has been proven that Sirius is alarmingly not conductive to my schoolwork. It's completely embarrassing how my higher brain functions utterly short out with just the sight of his mesmerizing, voluptuous arse, or the feel of Sirius' soft mouth on mine, or…Sirius, I am trying to finish this ess–

The essay can wait.


End file.
